Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Sidhuisms...............BY: S. Navjot Singh Sidhu.


* He moved like a heavy duty truck (when a fielder dropped a catch due to

his slow reaction)

* As safe as a bucket ( for a fielder taking a catch successfully)

* A depression is where you have no belt to tighten.

* A fallen lighthouse is more dangerous than a reef.

* A fifty is like kissing a virgin, you just have to go on!

* A good example is the best sermon you can ever

* A good lather is half the shave.

* A lemon squeezed too hard yields a bitter juice.

* All that comes from cow is not milk.

* A man who is heading nowhere is sure to reach his destination.

* A pessimist is one who burns bridges before the enemy gets to them.

* A recession is where you have to tighten your belt.

* As innocent as freshly laid eggs.

o About Atal Behari Vajpayee.

* A small leak can sink a big ship.

* A tree is always known by its fruit.

* A true professional is like a chameleon - he will change colour to suit

his surroundings.

* Age is the perfect extinguisher for the fire of youth.

* All that comes from a cow is not milk.

* Bad habits are like comfy beds - easy to get into, very difficult to get

out of.

* Beauty even when silent is eloquent.

* Big boast, small roast.

* Call the bear uncle until you cross his bridge.

* Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

* Character isn't made in a crisis, but it IS shown in one.

* Commonsense is the knack of seeing things as they are and doing things as

they need to be done.

* Curry is a worry.

* Disappointments need to be cremated, not embalmed.

20 * Don't die until you're dead.

* Easy to criticise an egg, difficult to lay one.

* Even a cock crows over his own dung heap.

* Even a turtle won't move until he sticks his neck out.

* Every dog is a lion at his own door.

* Every time a lamb bleats, it loses a mouthful of hay.

* Everything comes out from a cow is not butter.

* Experience is the comb life gives you when you are bald.

* Experience is the thing you get right after you need it.

* Failure is a better teacher than success, but it will seldom get an apple.

* Faith in your abilities will help you face the music, e
ven if you don't

like the tune.

* Fine feathers make a fine bird.

* Flattery is like chewing gum, you chew it for a while, don't swallow it -

and after a while, spit it out!

* Gamblers are like toilets - broke one day, flush the next.

* Good deeds speak for themselves, the tongue only speaks of their


* He's shredded that into smithereens

* He has either got to tighten his belt or lose his pants.

* He looks at the umpire as innocent as a freshly laid egg.

* He who ceases to praise ceases to prosper.

* He who doesn't throw the dice will never get a six.

* He's 20like a tornado - he can really blow you off your feet.

* He's shredded that into smithereens

o (On Rahul Dravid hitting a boundary, India v England, 2002)

* He flew like a bird and plucked it out of thin air.

o (On Indian fielder Sadagopan Ramesh's diving catch against Sri


* He is like Indian three-wheeler which will suck a lot of diesel but cannot

go beyond 30!

o (On Sri Lankan batsman Romesh Kaluwitharna who was wasting balls

without making runs)

* New Zealanders are like bicycles in a cycle stand - one falls down and the

complete row will be down!

20 o (In India's last match against New Zealand)

* His mind is on the boisterous sea of doubt.

* Hope is putting faith to work when doubting would be easier.

* Hope is the elixer of life.

* Ideas are funny things - they don't work unless you do.

* If fate gives you a lemon, make lemonade.

* If one-day cricket was pyjama cricket, then Twenty20 is underwear cricket.

* If the heavens throw you a date, open your mouth.

* If you dine with the devil, use a long spoon.

* If you enjoy a particular thing, you will always succeed at it.

* If you want to catch a fish, you have to lose
a fly

* If you want your hen to lay, you have to bear the cackling.

* Ifs and ands are like pots and pans, they all go tinkers.

* In life, as in chess, it is foresight which will win.

* In times of prosperity, remember it's the fattest pig that goes to the


* It is better to pluck the fruit from the tree than wait for it to fall.

* It is choice, not chance that determines destiny.

* It is tiny droplets of water that make a shower. He's believing his doubt

and doubting his belief.

* It is very difficult to kill a man who is hell-bent on committing suicide.

* It's not the early 20bird that gets the worm, it's the smart one.

* Its very difficult to kill a man who is hell bent upon committing suicide!

* Judge people by their performance, not by their intentions.

* Keep feeding your faith until your doubts starves to death.

* Liquor talks mighty loud when it's let loose from the jug.

* Mr Boycott, the last time you celebrated your birthday, the candles cost

more than the cake.

o To remind Sir Geoffery Boycott of his age, while the latter was

talking about his fascination with young Indian actress Shilpa Shetty

* My idea of a bird is 36-24-36.

* Next to good judgement, diamonds=2
0and pearls are the next rarest thing.

* Optimist is the one who looks at bullshit and sees fertilizer.

* Patience is the greatest of all shock-absorbers.

* Penny and penny will make many.

* Pitches are like wives - you never know which way they'll turn.

* Some students will drink from the fountain of knowledge - others will

simply gargle.

* Speed has little to do with your progress - it is more to do with


* Sri Lankan score is running like an Indian auto (auto rickshaw - form of

Indian taxi) meter.

* Statistics are like miniskirts (or bikinis). What they reveal is

tantalizing, but what they=2
0hide is crucial.

o Variant: Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what

they hide.

* Strength grows in the garden of patience.

* Strike when the iron is hot, and make the iron hot by striking.

* Success is a matter of luck and pluck.

* Success is the fruit of concentration.

* Talent is nothing if it's not controlled, harnessed and disciplined.

* That ball went so high it could have got an air hostess down with it !!

o (When Saurav Ganguly took a catch that had gone very high in the


* The ball whizzes past like a bumble bee and the Indians are in
the sea.

* The batsman is like an Indian three-wheeler - sucking a lot of diesel but

can't go beyond 30.

* The bill was buzzing past the head like a bumblebee breaking wind.

* The blood of the soldier gives glory to the general.

* The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice.

* The doghouse is no place to keep a sausage.

* The first blow is half the battle.

* The gap between bat and pad is so much that I would have driven a car

through it... !!

* The Indians are finding the gaps like a pin in a haystack.

* The Indians are going to beat the Kiwis! Let me tell you, my friend, that

the Kiwi is the only bird in the whole world which does not have wings!

o To Martin Crowe

* There's always light at the end of the tunnel, my friend, but beware, it

may be that of an oncoming train.

* The longer the rope, the tighter the noose.

* The older you get, the better you get - unless you're a banana.

* The only thing you can get in a hurry is trouble.

* The only thing you get in life without effort is dandruff.

* The weakness of your opposition is your strength.

* The whole world is not cleaned by soft soap.

* The world is all about mind and matter; I don't mind a
nd you don't matter.

* Their batting lineup is like a row of cycles - if one falls, the entire

row collapses.

* There is a devil in every berry of the grape.

* There's free cheese in a mousetrap.

* They are like brooding hens on top of a china egg (quoting Michael Foot)

* They're trying to make a whistle sound like a trumpet.

* This is a batsman who is as eratic as the electricity supply in most parts

of India.

* Those openers are like nappies, and changed for the same reason.

* To achieve, you have to believe.

* To catch a trout, you must be prepared to lose a fly.

* To e
rr is human - but not too often.

* Troubles are like babies - the more you nurse them, the bigger they grow.

* Wallowing in foolishness like a rhinoceros in an African bog.

* Were "ifs" and "buts" pots and pans there would be no tinkers.

* When everything is coming your way, you might just be in the wrong lane of


* When you are an anvil, hold yourself still.

* When you are eating with the devil, you've got to have long utensils.

o Variant: When you are dining with the demon you've got to have a

long spoon!

* When you are submerged up to your ears in trouble, try using the part

isn't submerged.

* When you have no pants to hold up, it is time to panic.

* When you're a hammer, strike your fill.

* When you're running with the big dogs, you can't piddle like a puppy.

* Wickets are like wives - you never know which way they will turn!

o (In the midst of a verbal duel with Martin Crowe)

* Winning is not important, but wanting to win is.

* You always make your own luck.

* You aren't rewarded for having brains, you're rewarded for using them.

* You can't squeeze toothpaste back into the tube.

* You can take the tiger out of the jungle, but you ca
n't take the jungle

out of the tiger.

* You can't prevent the consequences of your mistakes.

* You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.

* You've got to put the saddle on the right horse.

* Your originality is your strength.

* Warne is a victim of his own success. He has taken to women the way an

ostrich takes to the skies

* If my aunty had been a man she would have been my uncle

* He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking competition

* This bowler bowls so slow that the batsmen have enough time to call home

and talk to their wives between every delivery

0Pitches are like husband!!! They keep slowing down!!!

* His footwork is like a car in a traffic jam

* His slower ball was so slow that my mama can run faster than that

* The ball missed the bat like a kiss in a hindi movie

* The Sri Lankans are running between the wickets as if their wives are

chasing them with a belan

* Indian Cricket is like Indian monsoon, when it rains it pours, or else

there is Drought

* Cricket is the game of glorious uncertainities! Glorious-When SriLankans

play, Uncertain-when India play

* In London they drive on the left, in India we drive on what is left

* Indians should no
w be on their toes like midgets at a urinal

* For the indians now it's 'fightback' or 'flightback'

* Dravid has hit this shot as straight as a candle

* Commenting on Ganguly after he was out for a low score in the 2nd Test

against Zimbabwe:

…Looks like a brooding hen over a china egg. Why a China egg? Because nothing

will hatch out of it!

* Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two

* Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm

* Prasad beat a Sri Lankan batsman: "He opened him like a can of beans".

* Muralitharan bowling to the last Indian pair: "The wily fox is back. 20Its

an ill omen when a fox licks its lambs".

* About the Zimbabwean batsmen: "Cats on a hot tin roof…"

* Talking about the tail of the Indian batting order: "They are so timid,

they wouldn't say boo to a goose!"

* I lean on statistics like a drunken man leans on a lamppost, only for

support, not illumination

HARPREET GURU !!!!!..........

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